Saturday 27 February 2021

Get One of Each On

This was written after a Read to Write session on the poetry of Michael Rosen.

I have issues with the idea that all opinions are somehow equal.  

Get One of Each On

Welcome, said the presenter, to The Big Debate. Today, she said,
we will debate Climate Change.

On my right, Professor Jane Doublefirst of Oxford University,
who has 25 years' experience in Climate Science in the
public and private sectors, arguing the case for green energy.

On my left, Dave Straightspeaker from Basildon, who thinks Global
Warming is nonsense peddled by do-gooding lefties.

Got to be impartial, they said. Get one of each on.

Welcome, said the presenter, to The Big Debate. Today, she said,
we will debate Vaccination.

On my right, Dr. Jim Needles, who has 30 years' experience
in Vaccinology in the public and private sectors, and has written
several books on the elimination of diseases worldwide.

On my left, Karen Redditontwitter, from Derby, who thinks vaccines
give you autism and have poison and microchips in.

Got to be impartial, they said. Get one of each on.

Welcome, said the presenter, to The Big Debate. Today, she said,
we will debate Immigration.

On my right, Lady Pamela Bright, who came to the UK as a child
in the 1950s and has spent 40 years working in immigration law and
has written international articles on the benefits of immigration.

On my left, Sir Jeffrey Littlebrain, MP for Home County South, who thinks
Britain is full and we let in criminals and they're on benefits and taking British
jobs.

Got to be impartial, they said. Get one of each on.

Welcome, said the presenter, to The Big Debate. Today, she said,
we will debate The Holocaust....

Tim Fellows 2020

Saturday 13 February 2021

An Old Actor's Lament (Erasure Challenge)

This poem was created from the words in a section of James Joyce's Ulysses (see below) as a challenge set by Paul Brookes.  



An Old Actor's Lament

Bloom, grey spouting beard! Thrill her!

Here, the same women still kiss young Romeo,
pleasure tantalising, gnawing, desire growing.

Over there, every man - well preserved -
would of course live forever.

Those pretty little ladies, hot, strong, and sweet
laugh; joke about your life.

How many have you asked? Two, ten, eleven?
The papers ceased to care.

Tim Fellows February 2021

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr Bloom admired the caretaker’s prosperous bulk. All want to be on good terms with him. Decent fellow, John O’Connell, real good sort. Keys: like Keyes’s ad: no fear of anyone getting out. No passout checks. Habeas corpus. I must see about that ad after the funeral. Did I write Ballsbridge on the envelope I took to cover when she disturbed me writing to Martha? Hope it’s not chucked in the dead letter office. Be the better of a shave. Grey sprouting beard. That’s the first sign when the hairs come out grey. And temper getting cross. Silver threads among the grey. Fancy being his wife. Wonder he had the gumption to propose to any girl. Come out and live in the graveyard. Dangle that before her. It might thrill her first. Courting death. Shades of night hovering here with all the dead stretched about. The shadows of the tombs when churchyards yawn and Daniel O’Connell must be a descendant I suppose who is this used to say he was a queer breedy man great catholic all the same like a big giant in the dark. Will o’ the wisp. Gas of graves. Want to keep her mind off it to conceive at all. Women especially are so touchy. Tell her a ghost story in bed to make her sleep. Have you ever seen a ghost? Well, I have. It was a pitchdark night. The clock was on the stroke of twelve. Still they’d kiss all right if properly keyed up. Whores in Turkish graveyards. Learn anything if taken young. You might pick up a young widow here. Men like that. Love among the tombstones. Romeo. Spice of pleasure. In the midst of death we are in life. Both ends meet. Tantalising for the poor dead. Smell of grilled beefsteaks to the starving. Gnawing their vitals. Desire to grig people. Molly wanting to do it at the window. Eight children he has anyway.

He has seen a fair share go under in his time, lying around him field after field. Holy fields. More room if they buried them standing. Sitting or kneeling you couldn’t. Standing? His head might come up some day above ground in a landslip with his hand pointing. All honeycombed the ground must be: oblong cells. And very neat he keeps it too: trim grass and edgings. His garden Major Gamble calls Mount Jerome. Well, so it is. Ought to be flowers of sleep. Chinese cemeteries with giant poppies growing produce the best opium Mastiansky told me. The Botanic Gardens are just over there. It’s the blood sinking in the earth gives new life. Same idea those jews they said killed the christian boy. Every man his price. Well preserved fat corpse, gentleman, epicure, invaluable for fruit garden. A bargain. By carcass of William Wilkinson, auditor and accountant, lately deceased, three pounds thirteen and six. With thanks.

I daresay the soil would be quite fat with corpsemanure, bones, flesh, nails. Charnelhouses. Dreadful. Turning green and pink decomposing. Rot quick in damp earth. The lean old ones tougher. Then a kind of a tallowy kind of a cheesy. Then begin to get black, black treacle oozing out of them. Then dried up. Deathmoths. Of course the cells or whatever they are go on living. Changing about. Live for ever practically. Nothing to feed on feed on themselves.

But they must breed a devil of a lot of maggots. Soil must be simply swirling with them. Your head it simply swurls. Those pretty little seaside gurls. He looks cheerful enough over it. Gives him a sense of power seeing all the others go under first. Wonder how he looks at life. Cracking his jokes too: warms the cockles of his heart. The one about the bulletin. Spurgeon went to heaven 4 a.m. this morning. 11 p.m. (closing time). Not arrived yet. Peter. The dead themselves the men anyhow would like to hear an odd joke or the women to know what’s in fashion. A juicy pear or ladies’ punch, hot, strong and sweet. Keep out the damp. You must laugh sometimes so better do it that way. Gravediggers in Hamlet. Shows the profound knowledge of the human heart. Daren’t joke about the dead for two years at least. De mortuis nil nisi prius. Go out of mourning first. Hard to imagine his funeral. Seems a sort of a joke. Read your own obituary notice they say you live longer. Gives you second wind. New lease of life.

How many have you for tomorrow? the caretaker asked.

Two, Corny Kelleher said. Half ten and eleven.

The caretaker put the papers in his pocket. The barrow had ceased to trundle. The mourners split and moved to each side of the hole, stepping with care round the graves. The gravediggers bore the coffin and set its nose on the brink, looping the bands round it.

Sunday 7 February 2021

The Churchyard

Published on the allpoetry website in January 2021 and promoted as a featured poem. Originally inspired by the Black Bough Poetry Winter 2021/22 submission for short poems but it didn't really fit the remit.

 


The Churchyard
 
The gate creaks slightly, and I tread gently
by the sad stones, the tiny beds of lost children
who in twists of destiny would lie further on.
To where my icy footprints now take me. 
Past the low wall, memorials large and small.

The flowers I place will die too, dessicate
as the cold sun picks out gilded letters,
illuminates stark dates. I leave, passing tilting stones,
weathered names fading as I observe
the marks my feet made before are melting away. 

Tim Fellows 2021
 

Photo (c) Bill Henderson 2004 shared under Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike license

The Colours of Her Skirt

Based on a memory, which may be unreliable, from some time in the 1960s.  With thanks to Sarah Wimbush and Ian Parks for editing and for the...